Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
