I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize