Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will be naked everywhere
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
