I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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