the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
