his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize