all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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