so explain again why im purple
no
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
