Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just had sex on a roof
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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