You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
