That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
