I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
