I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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