I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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