hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize