I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
