She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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