I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
