I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
