So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
