in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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