thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
