i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
