Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
