From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize