Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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