so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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