I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
