My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
