So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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