the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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