All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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