so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
