i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
