I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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