I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
