oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
