none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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