I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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