guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
