i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
