Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
