btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
