I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
