I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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