I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
