i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You don't make any sense
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