we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
