I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
