put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
