you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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