she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
