Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
