Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
