So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
