:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
