Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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