Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
