u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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