i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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