TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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