Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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