Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
