He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
