"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
