Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
